So, there we were staring at this apartment full of, for lack of a better word, shit. It was just a giant maze of his and her crappety crap. From pictures of the pope to boxes of books, our faces turned whiter than the Osmond’s mid-winter just looking at it all. And then, here’s something else we learned about each other. In times of stress and strife, Aaron rolls up his sleeves and digs in. I go to sleep or play computer solitaire. The thing is, I really like my way better.

It was eight PM and Aaron’s stuff had been successfully moved. I figured it was time to crack open a can of Bud and pop in a Netflicks. I was just picking up the phone to order a pie when I heard the distinctive sound of a Leatherman cutting open a duct taped box. When I turned around to look, Aaron was knee deep in redundant kitchen supplies.

“Dig in!” was what he said, or something to that effect.

I hung up the phone.

“Really? Now?” I asked.

“Sure! Why not?” He said, all smiles as he tore into a box of records with no available shelf space for miles.

“Why not? Why not!” I began, certainly waving my hands around for effect (which I have been told is in the same family as flailing,) “Because it took everything out of us just getting the stuff here, is why not!” I said indignantly.
    
“What do you mean, out of us,” he asked pointing sharply at the fact that I had been home all day, well, playing computer solitaire, while he alone waited for the movers.

My eyes darted from side to side. I swallowed. My eyes, again darted or closed all together.

In the book we suggest making room for the partner who is transitioning into your space. I hadn’t moved a single thing. I started in the kitchen, taking his kitchen items out of one box and replacing them with some of mine. In the end, we managed to take the best of everything and put into storage the, um, picture of the pope and stuff. I still think, however, it could have waited until after the pizza.

A few weeks ago I was interviewed by Chick Chat Radio without Elena and almost passed out in terror. However, they were very nice and I am pleased to say I managed not to put my foot too deep in it. Interview begins at 00:28:04. Thanks for listening:-)

Download it here

Sept 1, 2008

Aaron moved in last Monday. It has been quite a week and has required a week to…well, process:

We hired movers. We didn’t get fancy, we just went for the guys who hang the signs on the telephone polls all over New York City for $19/hour. That, you might be thinking, was mistake numero uno. However, I used them myself back when I moved from Williamsburg to Ft. Greene. Two adorable Russian Mafiosos whom then-roommate, Lisa and I came to affectionately refer to as “our Russians” helped us move about 90 boxes to our new brownstone. Things that day went swimmingly. We were all moved in in under two hours for just over $100 dollars.

Fast-forward three years. Aaron, as I phone him back in Queens for the fifth time, is still waiting. It is almost three o’clock. I had left at 10AM, an hour after the scheduled arrival time. After calling and getting a definite “We are on our way!” from the Russian headquarters, I took a load in the Jetta and left him surrounded by boxes. The nice thing about Aaron is that he is very organized and has everything ready to go. The not as nice thing about Aaron is that he doesn’t have much patience for tardiness or general disorganization. So by 3PM he is really hating on my Russians. I don’t blame him. The last phone call where someone actually answered the phone ended with, “For an extra hundred we can be there in a half an hour.”
    
The thing about moving, in my opinion is that it is always best to have overlap, fifteen days if possible. Aaron had six months. Of course, he only had one month from the point at which he knew himself to be moving cross-country, from Queens to Brooklyn. He had already moved a few smaller items which included toothbrush, pillow, two pairs of boxers and one clean t-shirt. But other than that, everything was waiting between the hallway and the living room of his one-bedroom in Astoria.

I was still swearing by my Russians at 5 O’Clock when the price had already gone up to $500, a record collection and any small pets. At this point, Aaron told me to politely f’off with my Russians (“Why don’t you move in with one of them?”) and called the Chinese Mafia instead. These guys, turns out, are listed on-line, cost two-dollars per hour less and were outside his door in less than fifteen minutes.

They moved everything in, collected their hundred bucks and a gorgeous tip from me to show Aaron that I appreciated his gumption and respected that he turned his back on the boys from the Motherland, and were on their way. Now, with a maze of furniture littering the place, we sat down on my couch between a box of kitchen supplies and two garbage bags full of linens and took deep breaths.

On the exhale I think we were both pretty clear on one thing: This was not going to be easy.

And here it is... the moment you've been waiting for... the unveiling of our first TV appearance to promote The Good Girl's Guide to Living in Sin!

 

 

What do you think? Is there more TV in our future?

Okay, here's what I always envisioned as a "book tour:" Fancy hotels, expense accounts big enough for a steak dinner every night, adoring fans who flock to your signings, a hair and makeup team--and, well, you just have to show up and let the awesome book you just wrote speak for itself.

Not so for us first-time authors who are still climbing up the ladder. LA trip aside, if we were going to get a "book tour," we were going to have to make it happen ourselves. But, luckily we had the help of Joselin's sister, the amazing Hilary Griffith, a PR guru in Columbus, Ohio (Joselin's hometown). Hilary worked her contacts and got us a spot on the local morning show, Good Day Columbus. We were pumped--the biggest city in Ohio and we were going to be its stars!

Well, let's just say, the trip started off on a less-than-glamourous note. I spent about 14 hours in the Newark airport trying to get on a plane (because of a 1 hour storm. What's up?) before actually getting to the great state of Ohio (and sadly, missing the spa day we'd planned). And Joselin discovered she was missing a main component of her planned TV outfit because of a minor dry cleaning fiasco. You should have seen us in Target (the only store open on Sunday night in Columbus) trying to find a replacement cardigan. Luckily, Joselin thought up a plan C and we amped up for our appearance.

Monday morning arrived quickly and after a quick stop for some much needed McDonald's coffee, we made it in perfect time (7:30 am) to the Fox 28 studio. We were led to a break room by the production assistant, who then told us he'd be back in 15 minutes to usher us to the set for the interview. Inside, I freaked out a little. "So, what exactly are we going to be talking about?" I asked him. Yep, that's right. They were just going to throw us on set without any prep. Is that what you would have envisioned? Me neither. Hey, we wrote a book on this stuff--we know it. But I like to be at least a little prepared. He rattled off a few things from his notes and left the room.

15 minutes (and a little brushing up on the book's content) later, we were on set, putting on microphones and being told we'd be on the air in 10 seconds...

...in all, we think it went well. There were a few "Oh we shoulda said..."s in there. And I wish we'd been asked a better variety of questions. But we were happy about it--especially, that they kept mentioning The Good Girl's Guide To Living In Sin throughout the show!

That night we had a book signing at Barnes & Noble right next to the Ohio State campus. We got a bit lost getting there--Joselin says the city has changed a lot since her days there--but luckily Midwesterners are nice and we got some quick directions. Being late to your own book signing really isn't cool. It was a good turnout considering there were no classes in session, and some of Joselin's former high school teachers even showed up. Fun stuff. Afterwards, we celebrated with some of Joselin's old friends at a local watering hole. We really felt accomplished after one busy day!

On Tuesday, we had a little time to kill, so we headed to the Ohio State Fair. It was a big lesson in things Midwestern for me--sculptures made of cheese, cow milking, log rolling (I never knew what this was before) and even a giant Smoky the Bear that spoke (and, I think, was trying to hit on us...)

After a quick shower, we were back in a bookstore, this time, a B&N in the posh neighborhood of Easton. We got there early this time, but realized there had been a bit of a miscommunication... the manager on duty thought there'd only be one author and that we weren't doing a reading. She'd just set up a small table for signing near the door, and we anticipated a big crowd from Joselin's family and friends alone so that just wouldn't do! I was a bit worried that we wouldn't get it all together in time, considering I had to hop a flight at 8 pm--and it was already 6. But we kicked it in to high gear. Joselin distracted her peeps--and I helped the store staff move chairs to create a discussion area upstairs. We got it done and it was a successful event! While Joselin did more distracting, I signed all the store's copies of books and sneaked out a bit early in order to catch my plane. There'd be no hanging out in airports on my way home!

All in all, the tour was less than glamourous--but fun nonetheless. To check out more photos from the Columbus trip, go to our Facebook page. While you're there, please join our group!

I'll be posting the video of our TV appearance here on the blog, so check back soon!