What is the rule when it comes to Mother’s Day and our boyfriends' mothers? Are we supposed to ignore them just because we don’t share rings? Even more importantly can we ignore them just because we don’t share rings?

The question of what to get our Unlaws (the parents of our boyfriends) comes up at birthdays, holidays and inevitably Mother’s and Father’s Day. Whereas Gift-giving-specific days like Christmas, Hanukah and birthdays feel totally fine when it comes to sending cards and cool t-shirts or scarves we think his mom will love, Mother’s Day feels a little more like a potentially serious ass-kissing move. This one is for the girl trying really hard—perhaps trying too hard. This is for the girl who in high school moaned a little when she raised her hand. This is for the chick who accidentally burnt down his family cabin sneaking a late night cigarette in the dry field beside it.

It’s a mine field out there. This is your chosen partner. How do you play this one?  If you and your beau have been together less than a year, I say skip it all together. If you are around when your guy is talking to his mom on the phone, call out a “Happy Mother’s Day” and let him pass it on. If you answer when she calls him to remind him to call her, say it then. Or even better, get your man to tell her that you reminded him to call in the first place (which let's face it, she already knows if the call comes before 7PM). That one might get you your own stocking on the mantle next Christmas.

If you have been together for more than a year, get your name on the card. Even if it’s one of those, “Joselin and I wish you a happy Mother’s Day” that you instruct him to scribe, that will be a great, non-brown nosey way to get your message out there. Offer your guy half the money for the gift or card if you need to buy your way in.

For the girl who may as well be married to the guy for all the time they’ve been together (especially if you have kids together!) make sure you are a part of the card, make sure your kids send one of their own and also make yourself a part of the Mother’s Day phone call. It’s just good etiquette. She may only be your Unlaw, but she’s the mother of your honey and it will make you look awesome. But make sure you don’t volunteer to clap the erasers. That’s just lame.